Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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