Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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