Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
