I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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