Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
420 ftw
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
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I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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