I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
