we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
