how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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