apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
