I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
