i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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