pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just found puke in my bra..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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