I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
