Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize