Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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