we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
