you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize