my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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