Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
