I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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