Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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