Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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