haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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