I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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