shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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