Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
