I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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