about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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