she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
