Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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