I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
