Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
