I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
