Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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