so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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