She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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