my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
