dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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