have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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