Fuck appropriateness.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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