I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
