question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
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