I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize