Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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