did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
