woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize