seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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