this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
