I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just googled if crying burns calories
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
