I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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