This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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