The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she looked like the before picture.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
