I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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