i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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