i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
