he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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