And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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