ADVERTISEMENT

• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just another sign I need to get out of this town

  Fav 25 3173 1100

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

  Fav 25 3403 1225

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

  Fav 19 1893 6640

  share tweet
  

• (313): View more from Michigan

  We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.

  Fav 5 4618 1131

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums

  Fav 4 1947 987

  share tweet
  

• (478): View more from Georgia

  You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

  Fav 1 920 1233

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now

  Fav 3 1686 876

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.

  Fav 12 1205 678

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls

  Fav 3 1214 558

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

  Fav 7 2454 709

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws

  Fav 1 764 550

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch

  Fav 7 741 513

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants

  Fav 1 797 490

  share tweet
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.

  Fav 1 770 420

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges

  Fav 3 237 243

  share tweet
  

Randomize