The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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