Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
