yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize