Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
