is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
