I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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