Just cropdusted the office
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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