I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just cut my nipple shaving
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
