I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
