No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
