Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
