i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
