grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize